Miss Paranoia
by Squeaky
Summary: Jan goes crazy when she finds out her family will have a party without her.


The Brady Bunch (Season '72 ) 

Miss Paranoia 

Jan sat alone in the family room watching some television. She felt nervous. She had been studying for two whole weeks for an all-state public speaking competition that was held at her school. She had studied so hard she couldn't study any more of those ten pages. She knew the entire five minutes of "What Family Means To Me". Everything she wrote in it came straight from the heart. Sure, the competition was only a few hours away, but she felt confident. 

She sighed and looked around. It felt good to be without Bobby and Cindy fighting and without having to listen to one of Marcia's stories about how great one of her many dates had been. Suddenly her relaxation and enjoyment turned into worry. Where was everybody? Had they all gone out and left her alone? They all had been acting a little strange that day. So strange it seemed they were hiding something. 

She stood from the comfortable chair and walked to the kitchen. There was no sign of Alice. Now she was really worried. Alice was always baking or cooking something at that time of the day. 

She found it difficult to speak, but then finally found the strength to call out a mere "Alice?" 

There was no answer. A second after she began her way to the living room, Alice entered from the laundry room. 

"Is everything okay, Jan? You look kinda pale." 

Jan smiled and sighed in relief. "Oh, Alice! I'm so glad to see you. I thought was left alone in the house. By the way, were is everybody?" 

"Well, all three boys went to the mall. Marcia and Cindy are in their room and Mrs. Brady is with Mr. Brady looking at some blueprints in the den." 

Jan felt embarrassed. She had been paranoiac over nothing. She had been alone many times watching television, but why did she suddenly have that sense of being left alone? That had never happened before...at least without her brothers and sisters planning to ignore her. 

Could they be planning something? Maybe they even had a secret reunion and planned to ignore her! Wait, that was just ridiculous. She began her way to the living room and up the stairs without even saying "See you later." to Alice. Alice thought that was odd. 

Jan quickly entered her room. Cindy and Marcia had papers, tiny bottles of blue glitter and markers scattered around Marcia's bed. When they saw Jan enter, they quickly covered whatever it was they were making. They both smiled nervously. Jan, of course, noticed their strange behavior. She couldn't help it, but think the worse about her sisters. "They are hiding something from me.", she thought. She felt too sorrowful to speak so she turned around and slowly walked out the room. 

Cindy and Marcia looked at themselves wondering why Jan didn't start arguing and why didn't she try to find out what they were hiding. 

Outside the room, Jan thought it would be a good idea to overhear the her sisters' conversation. She ran to the boys' room and into the bathroom . She sat on the floor and pressed her left ear against the door that led to her room. 

"Remember Cindy, we can't let Jan know about this. It would ruin everything!" she heard Marcia say. "Tonight is the party, so she must be as far away as possible. She can't be anywhere near any of us kids when we do this." 

"How can we keep her away? She's even nosier than I am." 

"Well, Mom and Dad will think of something. After all, it was their idea to keep it a secret." 

Jan was crushed. They were having a party and didn't want her to come. She felt like crying. No, she wouldn't give them the satisfaction. But her own parents??? Even they wanted to keep her away. Okay, so she wasn't the sweetest person in the world, but she'd done nothing to deserve being left out by her own family. 

"The boys will be arriving soon with the party favors and the cake," said Marcia. 

"But why didn't Alice bake the cake?" 

"Oh, she really wanted to make a chocolate cake, but you know how Alice's cakes are, Cindy. Jan would quickly smell the chocolate from anywhere around the block and find out about our secret." 

"You're right," said Cindy smiling. 

"Even Alice!" thought Jan. 

Suddenly the door that led to the boys' room was opened. It was Greg. 

"Jan, what are you doing?" he asked. 

Jan quickly stood up. "Nothing," she replied. Then, she remember Greg was also planning the party. Party favors, eh? "Well, you seem very busy today, Greg. Are you... having a party or something like that?" 

She could see Greg became uneasy. he walked to his room. Jan followed him. 

"Party?" he said chuckling nervously. "No! Where'd you get that idea?" 

"Greg, I know all about the party. Why did you all hide it from me?" she said trying to hold back the tears. 

"How did you find out? Was it Cindy? Oh, man! She always---!" 

"It doesn't matter how I found out!" By this time she was yelling. Marcia and Cindy heard her and quickly went to the boys' room to find out what was going on. At the same time, Peter and Bobby were entering the room carrying the bags with the plates and other things for the party. Greg tried to gesture them to get out quickly, but it was too late. Jan grabbed Bobby's bag and took out a pack of colorful paper plates. She looked at them and furiously threw to the other side of the room. 

"You can all have your little party. And don't worry because I won't be coming anywhere near you tonight....or ever! You are all a bunch of liars, that's what you are!" She yelled and ran out the door. 

All the kids gave each other looks of confusion. 

Jan ran down the stairs and saw her mother and father walk out of the den. She tried to hurry to the kitchen before they saw her, but she heard Carol call for her. Jan didn't look back and ran to the kitchen and out to the back yard. 

Both Mike and Carol stood there surprised. 

"What was that all about?" wondered Carol. 

Before Mike could say a word, the rest of the kids walked down the stairs. In the kitchen, the kids told their parents and Alice what happened with Jan.. 

"...and now she thinks we were all planning to have a party and don't want to invite her." Marcia finished the story. 

"Oh, no!" cried Carol. " It was all so perfectly planned." Everyone felt just as disappointed as Carol. 

"But how in the world could she arrive at such a ridiculous conclusion?" asked Mike. 

"Well, I did see her sitting on the bathroom floor trying to listen to the girls' conversation...." said Greg. 

"Okay, Marcia, Cindy," said Mike. "Do you girls remember what you were talking about say, a minute or two before the incident in the boys' room?" 

"Yes, I remember. Cindy and I were talking about how we had to keep Jan's party a secret. She must have overheard the conversation and thought we meant keeping the party a secret from her." said Marcia. 

"But that's silly!," said Carol smiling. "Why would she think we'd do a thing like that?" 

"Remember mom, it's Jan we're talking about," said Peter. 

"She should've been called 'Miss Paranoia', "said Bobby. 

Cindy laughed, but quickly stopped when Carol gave her a mean look. Mike told everyone it would be best if he and Carol spoke privately to Jan. 

Outside, Jan had taken out her bike and was ready to take off when she saw her parents approaching. 

"Jan," said Carol once she was near her daughter. "where are you going?" 

"I don't know. Somewhere. Any place should be better than being in this house with all of you." 

"Now Jan--"began Mike, but was interrupted by Jan. 

"What, dad? Are you gonna lie too? I heard Marcia and Cindy talking. They said you were all having a party and didn't want to invite me." Tears flooded her eyes and came streaming down her face. "What else is there? How can you deny it? Nobody loves me. Not even my own parents." 

"Jan, that's not true." said Mike. "Carol and I love you. Your brothers and sisters love you. Alice loves you. It's all a misunderstanding." 

Carol nodded: "Yes, Jan. We all knew how hard you've been working for tonight's pubic speaking competition that we decided to throw you a surprise party." 

"Really? But not even knowing if I was going to win or not?" 

"Winning is not important," said Mike. "What's important is that you competed and did your best. That's what counts." 

Boy, did Jan feel stupid. 

"Boy do I feel stupid," said Jan as she wiped of the tears in her eyes with the palm of hand. 

Carol and Mike laughed. 

"I'm so sorry. I guess the whole public speaking thing put me more paranoiac than usual." said Jan. Then she remembered how awful she had treated her brothers and sisters. "Oh, no!" 

"What's the matter?" asked Carol. 

"I have to apologize to everyone. Imagine that, I accused them of being liars when all they were doing was preparing a party for me. I'll just tell them to return everything back to the store." 

She went on her way inside. Walking behind her were Mike and Carol who gave loving smiles to each other. 

Jan entered the dining room and looked at it with enormous joy. Balloons that had just been filled up with air were spread all around the floor. A cake sat on top of the table and in frosting "Good job, Jan!" was written. Everything was beautiful and full of color. 

Alice, Greg, Marcia, Peter, Bobby and Cindy were all cheering for her. Her two sister held a sign that had written in blue glitter "The best public speaker in the world: Jan Brady" 

She laughed and went and hugged each and everyone of her brothers and sisters and, of course, Alice. 

She apologized thousands of times to all of them. Then they celebrated. Celebrated Jan's participation in the all-state public speaking competition, but mainly, celebrated their love for each other and felt thankful for being together as one happy family. 

Later that night, Jan did her very best at the competition. Her "What Family Means To Me" speech made sure that there wasn't a single dry eye in the house. 

She won third place and became the pride of her school, her state and more importantly, her family. 

The End 


End file.
